I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize