I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
