I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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