She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You made out with two different species that night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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