So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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