yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize