I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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