I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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