I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
