i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
