the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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