Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
