The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize