Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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