Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
