I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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