My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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