Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
