He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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