my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
