READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it hurts more in the daytime
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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