I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
