I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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