physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
