i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
