she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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