Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
