NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
