ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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