who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize