You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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