I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
