I want to walk on stilts...naked
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
