Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
