I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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