It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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