i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
