It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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