margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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