is your mom at the bar?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
