I am midnight drunk by noon
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
how does that bad decision feel?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
