U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
