She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
