Where is the hickey?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
