:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Mom said you looked used
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
