i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
