no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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