I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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