There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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