May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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