I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
