with your own penis?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
