So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They are going to name an STD after you.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
