Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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