Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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