I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
