1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
