I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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