She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
