I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
