Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
