Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
