Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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