Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize