she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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