So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
