so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You are a genius and a whore.
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