i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
